When you get pregnant unexpectedly like I did, a million things go through your mind. I know for myself the first thing I thought of was, is anyone ever going to want me? Am I going to be single for the rest of my life? What does this do to my prospects of finding love ever again. Like many in the 21st century who date, it’s mostly online because there just doesn’t seem to be much time for anything else.
To my surprise 2020 – while an incredibly tough year- brought a beautiful new relationship, after three years and many dates, good, some bad, some ugly I met the most beautiful man who I’ve been in a relationship with for some time. I shared many of my dating woes on Instagram and so many have asked when I’m bringing it back but thankfully I don’t have to because I’m now in a relationship.
I wanted to help my fellow single mama’s with some tips that i’ve learned over the past three years on how to find love after a baby;
- Heal; We all leave each relationship with a little baggage, take the time to unpack that baggage and heal from your previous realtionship
- Non-Negotiables; A person who stands for nothing, will accept anything. Figure out what is non-negotiable for you and hold firm on it.
- Confidence; Online dating can be ruthless, men (and women) feel like keyboard warriors behind a screen, make sure you feel confident in who you are and what you’re bringing to the table.
- Be Truthful; A lot of women think they should wait to talk about their child(ren) or hold off on bringing it up. DON’T! You don’t have to go into details about your children right away but always ensure that the person knows that there are children in the picture.
- Know what you’re looking for; So many lie or not forthcoming on what they want or what they’re looking for. The number one thing you should walk into dating with is a firm understanding of what you’re looking for and what you want.
- Don’t waste time; Dating takes time, it takes a lot of energy and the one thing I learned was that you should hire slowly and fire quickly. If you are interested in someone, nurture it and let it take it’s time. If you’re not interested in someone and you’re sure of it, let them go. Don’t waste your time or their’s.
It was only after I applied all these to myself I started to see the prospects of whom I entertained change. I started engaging in men who want what I wanted and even though many of them didn’t last, each guy I started seeing got me closer to finding the one I am happily dating now.
If you have any other tips to add, feel free to share them below.
