I didn’t become a mom the day I gave birth to Londyn and I certainly didn’t become a mom the minute I found out I was pregnant. I became a mom on November 10th, 2017.
Here’s my timeline; I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks (technically 2weeks, because I know the day I conceived), at 5 weeks I had the appointment to discuss what was next with my doctor. It was the “are we keeping this baby or am I sending you to “the clinic” conversation”, we were keeping her. He prescribed me meds for morning sickness and said take these as you may start to feel nauseous soon.
What I never could have predicted was how sick I’d actually get. I’m going to spare you all the details but I spent every week sometimes twice in the emergency room, I’m not the norm but I am a very real picture of how pregnancy can go. Fast forward to my November 10th appointment, it was like any other morning. I was sick, fed up and tired but still pressing on.
My doctors receptionist took my blood pressure and left, usually I ask if all Is good but this morning I just didn’t have it in me, during my time with my doctor he took my blood pressure again and that was strange they usually only take it once, since it’s always good. I asked him “is everything okay?” he kept hustling and bustling and doing other little things and asked me if I was okay.
At this point I’m worried, he avoided my “am I okay question” so I asked again this time he was typing away really quickly on his MacBook Air and printing sheets upon sheets. He looked at me and said I’m going to give you this stack of papers and I need you to go straight to the emergency, your blood pressure is really high, your baby is in distress and they’re probably going to keep you overnight.
Up until that point I forced myself to not “care” all these trips to the hospital and as sick as I was I needed to protect and guard my heart because if at any point they told me the pregnancy wasn’t viable, I’d be crushed and my heart would be broken. At the doctors now, I couldn’t hide it anymore I REALLY REALLY cared! I gave a shit about everything, ESPECIALLY this child I was carrying, through the tears that began to fall I said to the doctor “tell me what to do, I’ll do anything, just tell me what I need to do”.
He gave me the stack of papers, called Emerg and sent me on my way. I ended up spending overnight at the hospital, they ran tests and monitored me then sent me on my way. It’s a moment I’ll never forget but that day in my doctors office, at about 10:30am I went from a woman to a mother, just like that.
