Today I am beyond thankful for a new week! Last week I felt like I was being dragged with no sign of relief. We’re nine months into this journey and so far so good, I honestly have enjoyed the journey that is motherhood in all it’s complex and dynamic forms. However last week was a doozy, my little girl was very sick Thursday to the point of having to call an ambulance to come get us and take us to the hospital because we just couldn’t make it out of the house. I was sick and unwell myself, weak and exhausted and there I was, in the belly of the beast with no help, no one to turn to and no support. To be honest it’s days like this, that I feel angry with her father, on a good day, we’re good, but on those rare occasions when things get tough and life begins to get overwhelming and I genuinely need a hand from someone who should be giving me a hand, there I am alone.
My resentment towards him never lasts long, it’s fleeting in truth but I have given myself permission to feel how I feel as each emotion comes, some days those emotions are compassion, some of them are gratitude and other days I’m disappointed, upset or just plain hurt. As a very strong woman, I’m proud of the way I uphold my daughter and I on a day to day basis but this week really gave me the reality check that I am a single mom and I am in this completely alone.
We came home Thursday night and she was okay up until Saturday morning where she again was incredibly sick so again there I was back at the hospital…alone. Without a hand, without the support that I needed. This weekend just really was a test of the will and while I would and will always do whatever it is that my daughter needs to be okay, that title is a very real thing and single motherhood is no joke.
I want to leave you with a little encouragement to get you through those tough moments.
- Remember this is a bad day, not a bad life. Perspective is everything
- Feel your emotions! The worst thing we can do is stifle how we feel, feel the emotion and move through it.
- Take time to be STILL, us single moms know how hard “down-time” is, so when you find it, just be still.
- Ask for help! The number one reason why people don’t get what they want is because they don’t ask for it.
